05.05.25

The Day I Realized I Was Holding Everyone Back

holding back blog banner with hand

There was a moment, years ago, that I’ll never forget. My team sat me down and said, “Mark, you’re the problem.” 

Oof. Not exactly what you hope to hear as a leader. 

They didn’t mean it unkindly. In fact, it was said with a lot of respect and care. But also, with honesty. They told me I was slowing things down. That I had created a bottleneck because I thought everything that left the company needed my stamp of approval. Every email, every detail. 

And the worst part? They were 100% right. 

It came from a good place. I cared deeply about the business—about our clients, our reputation, the quality of our work. I wanted everything to reflect the high standards we’d built. But somewhere along the way, that care turned into control. And that control started to suffocate the very team I trusted. 

That was a tough pill to swallow. But it was also one of the most important leadership lessons I’ve ever learned. 

Letting go of control doesn’t mean lowering your standards—it means raising your team’s. 

The truth is when you try to do it all or oversee it all, you rob your people of the opportunity to grow. You create a culture of dependency, where nothing moves unless you move it. And let me tell you, that’s not leadership. That’s micromanagement in disguise. 

So I had to make a choice. I had to decide whether I wanted to be the guy with the final say… or the guy who builds a team strong enough to not need it.  

I chose the latter. 

These days, I make it a point to ask myself: Do I really need to be involved in this? Or am I stepping in out of habit? Can I coach instead of control? Guide instead of guard? 

And when I do step back, magic happens. My team moves faster. They take ownership. They bring me ideas I would’ve never come up with on my own. And they know I trust them to make the right call, because I’ve shown them I do. 

So, if you’re a leader feeling stretched thin, or frustrated by the pace of progress, here’s my challenge to you: take a hard look at where you might be holding on too tight. What could your team do—if you just let go a little? 

Because sometimes the best way to lead… is to get out of the way. 

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